Lately, I’ve been working on a record.  Not my own, but writing and producing a young talented guy from Athens, GA.  He is the son of UGA’s head coach, Mark Richt.  ( ) As you might imagine, if you’re into football, this weekend was tough.  If you happen to be a GA Bulldawg fan, then you can fully appreciate the sting of such a loss.  Five yards from the in zone, the clock ran out.  We were literally seconds away from securing a major championship, when it all ended.

It’s in our nature to reflect, rehearse, replay and relive.  I confess, I kept asking, what could we have done differently?  What happened?  Having been so close, I wanted to go back and figure out a way to re-write the ending.  However, there was no going back.  I stood by listening, as Coach Richt spoke with the media.  Of all the things I heard that night, I believe the most important was when, after answering a handful of questions, he said, tomorrow I have to meet with a recruit.

What I heard, had more to do with life than football.  In the sharp stinging stillness of the moment, I heard him say, we have to get on to what’s next.  There’s no point in going over and over what happened.  Let’s ask the most important question of all, “what now?”

There was a woman, who some time ago, hurt me quite deeply.  However, her hurting me can not compare to the number of times I have rehearsed and relived the hurt.  Hearing the football version of “what now?” , I had to ask myself, “Tyler, when are you going to quit asking, ‘why did she do that’ ?”

Even as I write to you, I am tempted to give you the litany  of ways I was wronged.  There’s something comfortable about going back.  And yet, there is also not point.  Leaning on the example of a phenomenal coach, I’ve discovered a new prayer for myself.

“God, help me quit rehearsing my moments that didn’t go as planned and strengthen me, I deeply pray, to move forward, to let go, to carry on.  Please God, help me to stop missing the moments before me because I am reliving the ones behind me.”

Life, people, and circumstances, only have the power we give them.  Whatever has happened, has happened.   It’s over.  May we actually let it be over and get about the business of moving on.  The question isn’t ‘why did she do that?’.  The more true question is , ‘why do I keep letting her do it’, by continuing to re-live it?.


—- Tyler Hayes

— sending you love wherever you are in the world