If everybody wants to be happy, then why aren’t we happy?
As quickly as I asked the question, I heard my heart whisper the answer, “because you believe there are conditions which cause and support happiness. Instead of BEING happy, you are constantly seeking to create the conditions which you believe will make you happy.”
I sat quietly. It’s true. That’s what we all do, we try to create Happy, when it’s already been created. It’s as though there were a large natural healing spring that all we had to do was jump in and swim, but instead we decided to get about the business of building a swimming pool, because we heard the water would make us happy. The pool is already there. So, that begs the question, why are we so intent on building our own pool.
In my own journey, after lots of therapy, and I mean lots, I realized, I was addicted to longing. It was subtle, cunning, and baffling, so I did not easily discover this tendency in my nature. I will not go deep into my early childhood, but shall suffice it to say, I grew up accustomed to “wanting”, to longing, not because there was no money, which at times there was very little, but because of deeper emotional traumas within our immediate family. As an adult, I discovered so much of my life centered around those wounds and therefore left me strangely more comfortable not actually having what I wanted but simply wanting it. Odd I know.
Often I ask myself, as Sheryl Crow’s song articulates, “if it makes you happy, why the hell are you so sad?”
Maybe we don’t realize how addicted our subconscious is to drama, sadness, longing, wanting, craving, but never actually having. It takes a great deal of courage to accept joy, to be alright, to trust, to live and love. It is an act of bravery to walk down the street with a smile and honestly admit, I’m happy! In fill and complete contradiction to the Western idea that we have to earn it, keep busy, become important, it takes daring greatly to say, “Oh, and this happiness is not of my own making. It’s a gift, from God. All I ever did was, jump in.”
—– Tyler Hayes
—sending you love where ever you are in the world