Hello beautiful people and Happy day two of 2013. I decided we might ought to talk about the obvious. It’s sort of that giant pink elephant sitting in the middle of the room….. RESOLUTIONS. Let me be honest, I haven’t given a whole lot of thought to it, however, there have been a few things bubbling up over the last couple of days.
Obviously, like 99% of women everywhere, I’ve got “weight loss” as number one on my list. Yes, I too ate my way through the holidays, put on about 9 lbs, and prefer leggings to jeans because they fit better. So of course, while munching on chocolate chip cookies and eating pizza, I’ve come up with my 2013 diet. I plan to be like the cover of a swimsuit magazine by the end of January. I’ll be sure to let you know how that ridiculous plan works out.
In the last few weeks of 2012 my heart began to bubble, throwing me into a bit of soul-searching. As I looked back, I realized the year had been tumultuous. I say that, not as a complaint of any sort, but more because I can’t quite come up with an adjective descriptive and yet all-encompassing. Turns out within its definition, tumultuous, holds the verbage, “turbulent”. That’s exactly how it’s been. If my 2012 were an aircraft, suffice it to say, we got where we were going, but after the flight several folks requested a sedative.
There was, for me personally, a breach of trust, a mending, a breakup, not letting go, trying again to let go, dieting, some strange fears that generally accompany extended periods of “alone-ness”, a reunion, a healing, a birthday (everybody gets that), a heart-break, followed by a heart-ache! I put both of my dogs down after 15 years and said good-bye to a chapter of my life. However, there was at the very same time, a door opened, a career change, a new purpose was found, a passion ignited, my thirteenth year of sobriety, great friends, lots of excellent movies, with lots of popcorn, m&ms and coke. I produced my first record, wrote a ton of songs, and made two new life long friends.
It was those personal relationships that kept the ‘aircraft’ bouncing all over the sky! None the less, we landed in 2013! So, what about these resolutions. I’m thinking for starters it might be good if I’m just the co-pilot. Apparently I have a tendency to fly through storms. Maybe I should even be a passenger. Either way, God is the pilot! I think He really does know the easier softer more direct less turbulent way! After all, He is the calmer of the wind and the waves.
As far as my resolve to change things while living in the midst of reality, here’s what I’ve got for you. With passionate conviction, I resolutely put forth my desire to:
fly without fear. love my body. create a beautiful workshop for healing through songwriting, with my fabulous partner and friend, Miles. finish my book. go see Tayla in Seattle, WA. love. & let someone love me back. have better boundaries. be myself. sing. remember birthdays. dance. stop rehearsing the crazy thoughts that keep me in bondage. But above all else: I want to let myself see how much God really loves me and embrace that love in the core of my being.
Here’s the deal, when I boil it all down, I have decided to be much kinder to myself this year, to be gentle, and nurturing. None of this can be done with perfection. It’s just progress in a new direction. Day by day. Bit by bit. Breath by breath. When tears fall, let them. When laughter comes, relish it. Set your goals and see your reality, both are good. In the quiet, pray this prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.” And then my friends, CARRY ON with your one beautiful life.
—- Tyler Hayes
—– sending you love wherever you are in the world