There is a very simple prayer, that has proven to be the most powerful and most effective prayer ever prayed. The entire prayer consist of only one word, “HELP”. It is with that humble request that tremendous healing occurs. If you are ready, to silence the ‘inner punisher’, as we discussed in part 1, I highly suggest this prayer, above all else. I have known it to save drunks, saints, mothers, fathers, prostitutes, destitutes, the broken hearted, the people that seem like they’re normal, but who are secretly dying inside, the sick, all the ones who believe they are truly unworthy. You do not need to be in a religious setting. There is no liturgical act required. In fact it is best not to prepare for this prayer, but simply to say it. From here we have made a powerful beginning toward freedom.
Clients often tell me they want to know “WHY?”. Why am I the way I am, why am I in pain, why did this have to happen to me, why do I suffer, why do I have anxiety, why can’t I escape flashbacks and panic attacks, why do I love someone who hurts them, and why why why do I have such a strong inner punisher that blames me day and night.
I learned some years ago from a teacher that we “must release the need to know WHY, or it kills us”. That is the second part, releasing the WHY. I can not do this by simply saying, ok, I don’t need to know anymore… no, I must investigate it and put it on paper, that seems to be the only way I untangle myself from the web of questions that imprisons my soul. So, I do just that. I find a quiet spot and I write it all down, while I cry it all out. I put down every single solitary WHY I’ve got in my brain. When it feels complete, I tear it up, burn it, whatever feels most powerful, as I let it go into the hands of God. This is my ceremonial action, as I ask God to remove my need to know.
Now, we come to the nitty gritty. We have arrived at the place my mentor tells me will “grind you to a fine powder”. And so it will. I know, all too well. In THE SONG WORKSHOP, everything gets put on paper! EVERYTHING. That’s the only way to get it out of our heads. That’s the only way to truly see it.
Imagine we are sitting together, you and me. We are at Onsite. You’ve come into the workshop with your inner punisher well in tact. In fact ‘the voice’ has already told you this won’t work, not for you. It might for everybody else, but not for you. Don’t worry, this simply means you are normal, but only one hundred percent normal. Everyone that’s come through my door has told me some version of that scenario and every single time we have proved the inner punisher wrong. You have a journal and a pencil in your hand. I ask you to write down everything the inner punisher tells you, everything that comes to you right then. You write. I play my guitar (we are letting the right brain process the music because we know the right brain is where the trauma is being held). When you are finished, you read to me, exactly what you wrote. I listen. Then I ask you another question, whose voice is that? At first, you, like everyone else say, mine, it’s my voice, but the question has caused you to pause, if only a little.
And so, I ask, when was the first time you remember feeling that these things were true about you? Go as far back as you can. You tell me, after a few minutes of pondering, eight years old. Ok, and what was happening at eight? It isn’t long before we begin to see that the voice of the ‘inner punisher’ is mirroring the same voice that you heard when you were eight. It’s even more interesting to observe the “mirroring”. By that I mean, the inner punisher isn’t creating the words, she’s repeating them, reflecting them, just like a mirror would. The words themselves belong to the person who was there when you first felt you were unworthy.
This is excellent news, because we have now come to the source, the root. From here we can begin to uproot the voice. We can disconnect from the source and find a new source. For now, lets pause. Let’s do those steps :
- Prayer: HELP
- write down your WHYs. all of them.
- burn your WHYs, or tear them up, or throw them away (whatever works best for you)
- write down everything the ‘punisher’ says. all of it.
- read it out loud
- go all the way back to the first time you remember hearing those words or feeling the way those words make you feel.
- write down what was happening, who was there, what you felt. Look at the people in the room. Identify them. write it down.
- Pause here…….. and stay tuned for PART 3.
Sending you love wherever you are in the world. – Tyler
Ps: If you would like to do any of this work at Onsite, The Song Workshop, or with me personally… please feel free to message me directly : firstname.lastname@example.org